My First Break-up

It’s the 6th day since we broke up. 

Day 1- sadness + depression. (I wake up and realize that he will no longer be there to text me “good morning” or “good night”. I try to eat more and occupy myself with work to forget about him.)

Day 2- numbness + hopelessness. (I finally come to my senses and face reality. I let my heart die. Our relationship will not work out.) 

Day 3- hatred + bitterness. (I replace my sadness with anger. “I can do better. He’s not fighting for me, so why should I do the same? I can replace him in a second. I’m going to find a boy who will understand me and mend my heart.”)

Day 4-  confusion + reconciliation. (“Is it a mistake? Can we fix our problems? Can we patch things up?” I thought about why our relationship went down hill.)

Day 5- lust + regret. (I couldn’t focus in class. Images of him hugging me, kissing me gently, calling me cute names flashed through my mind. I missed him. “Do I want him only for my affectionate desires? Was it lust that held us together?”)

Day 6(Today)- defeat + acceptance. (I still think about him. I’m not sure if he still thinks about me or if I’m even worth anything to him any more. From the first time we talked to the first time we kissed to the first time I  hid him in my closet when my mom came home, I remember the smallest details. However, the spark I once had for him is gone. The only part of him that I can keep is our memories.)

I don’t know how you feel. I don’t know how you’re doing. I can’t put myself together to talk to you. I hope the very best for you and your ambitious goals.

-Jill

3 months ago with 4 notes
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